Is it really worth it?

It is nearing Thanksgiving, a time when many of us start traveling to eat bird with family.  Let’s face it, many of us feel the need to let the universe know what we are doing via status updates on various networks such as Facebook and Twitter whenever we actually do anything remotely interesting or different than sitting at our computer.  This is also a great way to let would-be criminals know that you will be out of town for a few days so they can break into your house without any complications. “No, no not my online ‘friends,’ they are perfect and I know them all deeply, and I would never use Twitter!”  Read on…

The economy is down, Christmas is coming, and joblessness is at a crazy high.   Don’t tempt people, especially not your online “friends.”

So before you plan on posting anything like the following…

“Now boarding a flight to LA, Yipee!”

and then…

“Can’t wait until Monday to be back in my select comfort bed!”

You might want to consider what the criminally minded or desperate might be thinking when they read it.

To be clear, you don’t want to post something like this on your Facebook Status:

“My poor house is all alone and the side door is unlocked and my social security card is in my top dresser drawer, boy I hope no one steals my 50″ plasma TV,  – man I really need to get an alarm system and a dog.  Did I mention I don’t have a dog there?”

Rather,  something like this might be good:

“Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I’m grateful I live in a country that allows me to bear arms, keep a very protective attack dog, and install cameras throughout my house.”

If you share things leave out specific details, or post about them once you are back.  You can also mention security measures such as house-sitters, dogs, alarms, etc.

Get a house-sitter or have someone stop by each day to check on the house, bring in mail, turn on lights, etc.

Please pass this along (share this post) on your Facebook page, or wherever your friends are to remind them that security is still an issue online and in the real world.

Oh, and travel safely and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Any other tips?  Have some other stupid status update ideas?  Share in the comments below.

Tactics... The "Child face" evokes in men the desire to protect and makes your eyes appear larger by minimizing the face. Red lips and blush mimic arousal.

Sexiness, attractiveness, flirtatiousness, etc.  Some girls have got it and some girls don’t, but perhaps the real issue is that some have learned these tricks and some have not.  Be forewarned this is powerful stuff:  This is a black magic art that creates sexual energy and should only be used by mature adults.

I am a fan of body language and I love to figure out people and I just happen to be married to an extremely sexy woman.  A great book on the subject is The Definitive Book of Body Language.  Buy it, you will love it!

The Principle

The general principle to being sexy and arousing and attracting men is to appear aroused and attracted.  Women being “sexy” to men is appearing sexual.  Seems pretty simple right?

The Tricks

Here are the female tricks of the trade, many of which are picked up unconsciously from watching females or are possibly embedded in genetic code:

• Smoky eyes – mimics the eyes women make during intercourse.  Just squint slightly.  You will see this used in a plethora of ads.
  

  Angelina loves to use smoky eyes!

  This could be used to create the playful “Oh, You’re in trouble” look, with a slight smile.

• Rosy lips and rosy cheeks – This has been done for ages as a tactic to arouse men.  Why? According to experts it mimics the natural flush of the face experienced during intercourse.   Note, if you wear dramatic lipstick keep the eye makeup light to balance it out.
• Aroused face – This includes the smoky eyes, but is coupled with an open mouth.
  

  Marilyn Monroe - The queen of mimicking the face of arousal. Exposing neck, darkened lips, smoky eyes, and looking up to the taller males.

• Smile – There are a lot of different smiles.  Mischievous ones with smoky eyes for instance.
• Eye contact – of course.
• The intimate stare – This involves focusing your glare back and forth between the person’s eyes and lips.  This triangle space is the intimate stare and suggests you want to kiss them.  Do this while talking with someone you are interested in.
• Licking lips – Add this to the intimate stare to suggest you are prepared for a wet kiss or use alone to suggest they are delicious.
• The leg twist – The Sexiest way to sit – not just crossing your legs but doing what men cannot do… cross them at the knee and keep going… wrap and twist them so your foot is wrapped around the back of the other leg.  This highlights a difference between men and women.
• Sexiest way to talk – Slow and low – slow down your words and add pauses as often as possible and talk at the low end of your range.  Often women will add a breathy quality to mimic arousal.
• Hip-swaying walk – hip action – swing those hips the way a guy never should.

• 

  Beyonce is a notorious armpit exposer. Here she is demonstrating the S-Curve stance, much more interesting than standing straight up.

  Sanding S-curve – Sexiest way to stand – Standing straight is boring, create an S-curve by leaning on one leg and popping a hip out.  This highlights the female body’s curvature.  This is often seen in exaggeration with a hand on a hip and the other on the hair in cartoons.

• Chest emphasis – Roll those shoulders back and tighten those abs.  Shoulders rolled forward are a sign of weakness, shame, guilt, fear, etc.  Open up your chest and heart area to show confidence.
• Sexiest way to pick things up – Keep your legs straight and bend at the waist, while making sure your butt is towards your victim (obviously for light lifting).
• The Child face – Looking up, head tilted to the side, big eyes – This evokes in men the need to protect you by making your face appear smaller and eyes appear larger and more child-like.  You can tilt your head down and to the side if they are not standing taller than you.
• Exposing the neck – lift your head up and away from your male victim as if you are showing him you have a neck, maintain eye contact and you are golden.  Think willing vampire victim.
• Exposing the wrists - Again, displays openness and vulnerability.
• Exposing armpit – This supposedly has to do with making pheromones available.
• Weak wrists – bend those wrists, just let your hands dangle like earrings when not in use.
• Self grooming – This is natural way of expressing that you care that they see you.  Take the opportunity to move your hair to show your neck, fix your lipstick to highlight your lips, or smooth out your dress, when you think they are looking.  This is a mating ritual performed by humans when they see someone attractive.
• Self touching – This suggests to them you want to be touched by them wherever you are touching.  Rub a shoulder, push a hand across your thigh, wipe fingers down your neck, play with your hair, whatever… you get the idea.
• Looking over the shoulder – Try to bring your chin over your shoulder by turning your head and popping your shoulder.  It is as if you are showing off your shoulder.  The curve of the female shoulder mimics other curves and is found to be arousing to men.
• Cleavage – I read that this is arousing to men because it mimics the cleavage of the buttocks.  They say guys are either breast-men or butt-men – each mimic one another.  I think it is interesting that cleavage with the breasts must be created unnaturally using support from clothing to mimic something only seen when naked.
• Pointing toes – highlights the shape of their legs.
• Dangling your shoe – This is a highly flirtatious move that suggests they are in a playful mood and suggests undressing.  If it is being bounced or swung on the foot it is even more attractive and suggestive.
  

  Shoe dangling/bouncing draws attention to the legs.

• Oral teasing – Sucking or licking on anything such as candy, popsicles, your fork or spoon, or eating a banana, just imagine it being phallic.  This is torturous to men and highlights the lips.  Slower equals greater impact.
• Phallic object teasing – Stripper poles were no accident.  Objects such as pens, pencils, spoons, cigarettes, pole lamps, a bar, arm rail, can be used.  Nearly any lengthy item can be used as a phallic symbol.  Being subtle is key here though!  You don’t want to be too obvious here or you start moving from sexy to suggestive (such as a stripper pole).  Lightly running your finger across a pencil on your desk, while talking can be plenty.
• Arching the back – stretching is a nice way to pull this off.  This highlights the female figure, narrows the waist and accentuates curves above and below the waist.

Final Notes

You probably noticed the basic ideas here and can come up with some of your own.  It is easy to combine many of these things together, especially movements and expressions.  Women master this list, you may realize you do a lot of these things unconsciously throughout the day.  Once you are conscious of them you can avoid sending the wrong signals to the wrong people!  Just go easy on us men… I have to admit even though I am keenly aware of these things they still work on me, maybe even more so.  I believe this is because before I knew about these tricks I might have missed them as signals of interest and they would go unnoticed.

It may feel weird at first to some gals, like anything new… Remember actions create feelings.  Act sexier and you will feel sexier and the more you do it the more confident you will get at it.

One final tip: The sexiest outfit is a fit body, period.  What this means is exercise does more than the most expensive and finest clothing, because the female form becomes more attractive and magnetic as it gravitates towards health.  The good news is you don’t have to look perfect, using these tricks actually changes a guys vision – he will see you as something else entirely.

Any revelations?  Did I miss anything?  Try any of these out?  What tricks do you use on your man?  Notice any that females do?

Let us know how they worked in the comments!

My silicone Dvorak keyboard cover protects my computer and my wrists!

Allow me to reveal my true nerdy-awesome nature… part of being great, at least for me, is being nerdy.

What is Qwerty?  So look down at your keyboard… find Q and the keys following it.  QWERTY is the name of that layout of keys.  Originally keys were alphabetical, but they were rearranged into a layout that was designed to be difficult and slow down the typists and now you use it everyday and if you type a lot it is hurting your wrists.

I was annoyed by the issues with typing and the “carpal tunnel” or rather, the stupid pain from lame typing.   So I did some research and found that Dvorak is an alternative layout that you can type in that has been found to reduce movement 50%!

Mr. Dvorak stuck the vowels on the home row of the left hand and the most common consonants on the home row of the right hand.  This means there is less movement and that there is less times you will have to have the same hand type multiple keys in a row (more back and forth).  Typing speed actually increases.

It took me about a month to get used to Dvorak and now I love it.  I found a cool silicone cover from KB Covers for my Macbook Pro keyboard that rearranges the keys and protects my computer and I just changed the keyboard layout to Dvorak (it is built into all major operating systems).  This is good, because my last Macbook Pro I actually popped all the keys off and rearranged them into Dvorak… quite scary.  I’m not sure if this can be done or not on my solid body Macbook Pro… if so I would probably do it, because the downside to silicone keys is my fingertips get gripped by the keys.

So once you have your keyboard cover or keys switched, the computer needs to have its keyboard input setting changed.  On a Mac it is easy (as with most things): System preferences -> Language & Text -> Input Sources -> Dvorak.

I have Dvorak and U.S. (Qwerty) selectable from my Menu Bar

Overall switching to Dvorak has made typing just feel easier and it does not mess me up when I have to use Qwerty in hunt-and-peck-mode on my iPhone.

Ready to get nerdy?  Wrists, forearms hurt from typing?  Switch, give it a month, and be sure to let me know how it worked out for you in the comments!

You can do better than that mass marketed garbage!

Most toothpaste is rather ridiculous… You eat and then a few hours later your teeth have sweaters (bacteria poop) and you are a plaque monster… well you might want to reconsider the junk you use to clean your teeth.  If you haven’t read about my favorite deodorant, check that out right now so you truly appreciate this article.

The problem

Most toothpastes are designed to taste good, not to work well.  They are a gross, sticky, sugary, artificially flavored chemical filled garbage.  Someday we will be amazed that we used to stick this stuff in our mouths.  Millions of Americans use this stuff every day and still get cavities.  What a joke.  Cavities and tooth decay are caused by bacteria and bacteria thrive in an acidic environment.  Sugar is acidic and is fuel for bacteria.  Most toothpaste is also acidic rather than alkaline.

My Quest

So before I reveal this cool stuff I use on my teeth let me explain a little journey I had.  I wanted to discover how to remove and prevent plaque since I was tired of forking out money to a dental person to scrape my teeth with a metal hook.  If plaque can build on my teeth gradually while I am brushing and using toothpaste then there must be something that can gradually dissolve it or take it off.  How does it get on there anyhow?

So in my Google quest I came across ionic toothbrushes from Japan.  The websites selling these items said that our teeth are magnetic or ionized and are attracting plaque and it bonds.  These toothbrushes ionized the teeth or charged them so that they repelled plaque and actually removed its bond with your teeth.  I also own a water ionizer that alkalizes drinking water so I figured there must be a substance in nature that is ionic and can remove plaque without a fancy weird toothbrush.

What I wanted

How amazing would it be to find a toothpaste that is…

1. Alkalizing
2. kills bacteria
3. is natural and safe
4. absorbs/kills odor
5. is sugar free
6. fluoride free – fluoride is not good for you or kids.  Google it.
7. affordable

Again we must turn to the…

The Natural, Ionic, Antiseptic, Anti-fungal, Alkalizing, Miracle Powder

Bob's Red Mill Aluminum Free Baking Soda

This stuff is so cool!  Brush your teeth and tongue with it and then rinse your mouth out with water and the water tastes sweet like sugar water.  I love that.   If you have read my deodorant article then you probably guessed that it is Aluminum Free Baking Soda again.  Yes, my deodorant and toothpaste are the same stuff!  And they work fantastic!

My teeth stay clean nearly all day long with a single brush, there is no yucky sweet or flavored aftertaste to temporarily ruin my relationship with flavorful foods, plaque seems to have disappeared altogether, and tooth sweaters are a thing of the past.

So toss the food coloring, artificial flavored, goo of chemicals that you would never willingly choose to ingest and go get some of this stuff already!

Make sure to keep it sealed in an airtight container so it doesn’t absorb some funny flavor.

So go try it out, buy it here if you can’t find it, and report to others in the comments.

You know those people that you just click with – the ones that make you feel great and are really cool that you want to be around?   Have you noticed I am one of them?  If not, we need to hang out more!  If you have noticed, this might be why…. I love to make new friends and I will tell you a secret: I haven’t always been good at it.  I had to learn what some people seem to do instinctively.  You are sitting there, reading this, hoping to get better at making friends, because you care.  So if you don’t know me well, we need to get together because you are the kind of person that wants to improve and have friends and that means you are similar to me.  If you are in Burley, Idaho stop into my office.  So, I know that sometimes you do or say stuff and embarrass yourself or come across as a complete dork.  It’s alright, I still like you… so nerd, here’s the word – a gift from me to you:

Here is how I maximize my chances of building a rapport.  The basic principle is that we all like people like our selves.  Another principle behind creating rapport is to act like rapport is already there.  This has been extremely useful in job interviews, meeting new clients, dating, and strengthening existing relationships.  Using these tools you can turn any acquaintance into a friend.

• Talk at their pace – You may need to slow down or speed up.  Ever notice how annoyed you get speaking with someone that talks “too fast” or “too slow?”  Talking at their pace is courteous and you will be less annoying!
• Mirroring – use similar body language.  This naturally happens between people in a state of good rapport, you already do it at times.  Don’t overdo it, keep it subtle.  Remember people like people that are like them.
• Teasing – This is a good one, and I would add that you need to be careful with this one.. don’t assume too much.  People tease those that they have a strong rapport with.  Light teasing can create a strong sense of connection, go too far though and you will come across as a jerk.
• Tell secrets – It doesn’t have to be anything ground shaking, it could be anything really, even if it is just telling them something in a way that suggests it is a secret.  Telling a secret tells them that you trust them and feel safe with them and assumes rapport is there.
• Give gifts – Even just offering them a bottled water, if accepted, can make them feel better about you.  Gifts tend to make them want to do something for you and feel worse about turning you down.  Gift giving is a positive relationship tool in any culture.
• Talk about their interests – It sounds backwards, but being interested is the key to them finding you interesting.
• Find and maximize commonality – “Find a connection, then go in that direction” is a phrase someone once said that stuck in my mind.  Maximizing similar interests tells them you are similar to them and gives you something to build your relationship on and it gives you something to talk about each time you run into them.  It could be that you both have similar political views, or you both are in the same religion, or you both love the same TV show.
• Label them to someone else – If you are talking with them and someone calls, use that as an opportunity to express your feelings to them.  Example:  You are talking with a new acquaintance and things are going well and your cell phone rings.  You could say “Hey could I give you a call right back?  I’m visiting with a friend.”  Or if at a function, you could introduce them to someone else as your friend.
• Spread good rumors – This is a round-about way of labeling them to someone else.  Basically you talk well of a person with the knowledge that it will likely get back to them.  This is less immediate, but infinitely more meaningful, and what a great way to do something kind!

A note about romantic rapport… First build the friendship and maintain it using the tools above, as it is an essential foundation to creating the trust necessary for intimacy.  The same aforementioned skills are very powerful flirting tools… with a slight twist.  If you want to create a stronger romantic connection with someone, go through this list again and imagine using them in a romantic way to create intimacy.  Specifically, during intimate moments mirroring can be taken to an extreme, including breathing, blinking, etc.  Tell them a secret that is really how you feel about them.  Or label them as something that makes them shine and suggests more than a platonic interest.

Now go back and re-read this and notice which tools I used in this blog posting.

Find this useful?  Want your friends to be cooler?  Pass this on by sharing it on Facebook or emailing it around.

StinkySpicy Pit Lube - The Best Money can Buy! Women will finally be attracted to you due to your chemical smell! Get some today!

So I am in a musical right now and the men’s dressing room smells like a bucket of body-odor and onion soup.  It’s pretty nasty.  I however am not a contributor to the stench and figured I would share my secret.  In their defense performing is high stress and it gets hot on stage under those bright lights.  Now this is a rare find and it will be difficult to believe since you have been so heavily influenced by advertising and conspiring marketers to avoid something so simple and use some fatty, chemical, perfume-ish grease.  How great would it be to have super cheap deodorant, that outperformed anything out there, and it is natural, safe, and free of chemicals?

I dare you to drop the crappy-working stuff you currently use to keep your pits smelling fresh. You know your deodorant sucks right?  You actually start sweating and minutes later you smell like fresh cut onions sprinkled with garlic salt.  Why? Because your arm pits have turned into a bacteria fest amplified by sweat.  You are probably dying to know by now, but I don’t want to tell you yet because it is so simple that you might not try it.

I have tried the “natural” deodorants, the name brand junk, and nothing works better than this!

The Wish-list

Now in order to really make you appreciate how great this is I want to present a near impossible wish-list for a deodorant.  In order to prevent body odor, you must first prevent bacteria.  First, realize that bacteria have a difficult time growing in an alkaline environment.  So we need a substance that is alkaline or alkalizing.  We also need a substance that is safe for the body even though it kills bacteria, perhaps a substance that is at least edible in small quantities.  Additionally, why not choose a substance that is a powerful tried and true cleanser to keep you feeling clean.  And finally, let’s find something that is a powerful odor eater using ions like the ionic air purifiers and has anti-fungal properties.  Also let’s make it a simple powder for ease of application and so it never is
sticky to cause a rash or rubbing.

The Natural, Ionic, Antiseptic, Anti-fungal, Alkalizing, Miracle Powder

Bob's Red Mill Aluminum Free Baking Soda

Ready to appreciate it?  It is sodium bicarbonate also known as baking soda.  All sodiums are ionic wonders, but it is easier to apply the powder of baking soda than salt.  Also salt deodorants suck from my experience, because they have been exposed or combined with stuff that eventually negated their ionic charge. Even baking soda deodorants suck because they have combined the baking soda with liquids and compounds that kill its effectiveness. Purity equals effectiveness.

It’s not that simple

Now you can’t just use any baking soda.  You really need to make sure it is Aluminum Free.  This is important because aluminum is a man-made substance that causes all sort of problems.  Also remember that skin is not rubber, it absorbs anything you put on it into your blood, so eliminating unnecessary chemicals is a good idea.  You can pick it up in most health food stores or if you are lucky in the baking aisle of your grocery store.  I use Bob’s Red Mill Aluminum Free Baking Soda.

Salt that loses is savor?

Another tip is to make sure you have it in an airtight container so it doesn’t absorb junk and lose its effectiveness. I use a small travel shampoo bottle with a flip top lid and I make sure to snap it shut after use.

So now are you excited to try it?  You don’t need to use much and I haven’t had any problems with clothing issues.  I just pour some powder on my hands and rub it into my pits and then rinse of my hands.  Done!  I do that in the morning and when I am done with my musical performance and get home around 10 or 11pm I still smell great.

You want to try it?  Feeling lazy?  Buy it here on Amazon. How cool would it be if you would experiment and then come back and report in the comments (and then share this tip with your B.O. buddies)?

My wife Ashley as Jennifer Rumson and myself as the Mexican Julio in "Paint Your Wagon"

I posted several times on Facebook  “Jason is pretending to be a Mexican named Julio Federico Juan Valenzuelo Valveras.”  Most people just thought I was just being goofy, but I actually have been pretending to be a Mexican named Julio Federico Valenzuelo Valveras in a local production of “Paint Your Wagon,” a musical that is set during the gold rush.  I thought I would share with you the challenge of a pasty white-boy in becoming Mexican.

Practically a Latino

Luckily I am highly qualified to play this part thanks to the two years of Spanish class I took in high school in which learned near fluency (ie. I know enough to get laughed at by a Spanish speaker and that is all).  This has allowed me to fake a Mexican Accent so well that a fellow cast member, and mother of real children, told me I sound just like Handy Manny, whom we can all assume is performed by a truly amazing, high quality native of Mexico.  I would say I sound a bit more like Antonio Banderas, but I failed to find anyone that would back me up on that statement.   Anyhow they picked me rather than a real Latino, which says a lot (unless you find out that no real Mexicans tried out for the role).

Familiar with Mexico’s Customs

Another qualification is that I have have helped several local Mexicans ship FedEx packages to Mexico.  Alright, so that one is a little weak you might be saying, well I bet I am more familiar with Mexico’s customs than you.  Not cultural customs, but the equally important imort and export customs.  For instance, did you know Mexico will not allow anything shipped that was made in China!  I’ll bet you didn’t… not even the Mexicans I serve know that.

Physical Transformation

Adding color to my skin has been a combination of the tanning package my wife bought me, mystic spray tanning, and brown mineral powder foundation.  In other words I am red, orange, and brown…. just call me Autumn or Thanksgiving.

My hair has been died twice… first brown and then black, because the brown hair wasn’t “Mexican enough” according to the expert fellow white cast members.  Facial hair has been shaved to be similar to Orlando Bloom and the Batman dude who’s name escapes me at the moment.  This facial hair then must be darkened with dark eye shadow to match the hair on my head.

I then act cocky, not because Mexicans are cocky, but because people are less likely to question my Mexican-ness if I do it with some bravado (actually that is just part of my character – the proud Julio).

Singing with a Spanish accent has been a bit more challenging since elongated vowels tend to lose their potency and because I was not permitted to sing the songs in Spanish (actually I couldn’t if I tried… it’s all in English and my translation skills have grown rusty – i.e. never existed).  If you come see me perform, please forgive me if I accidentally roll my R’s in inappropriate spots, or slip into a white-boy accent, or I strangely look a bit too orange.  So far I think I have totally fooled everyone who doesn’t know me (just the really old, white grandmas with failing vision, and really small children that have no clue what a Mexican is).

Those dang white people!

The greatest advantage to being Mexican is that I can now be racist toward all the white people I know… something I have never had the pleasure of doing.  Now, I am not saying Mexicans have a beef with white people… I just want to experience it while I am under layers of spray tan and makeup.  I’m not quite sure I am getting the full effect however, since I just get laughed at when I make comments and jokes at my white, fellow cast members, but I should have the hang of it by the end of the production and finally have offend someone.  You know, it really is hard to offend white people – Honky, Cracker, Pale force… no phrase seems to offend them…no not even Yakoo.  White trash may offend them, but only if it is true.

Justice for the Persecuted

I figure if God is just, then he might like my idea to eventually have people that are racist be born into a world that discriminates against them so they learn, maybe as the same race they chose to hate.  I figure that is fair… and if so, then I will probably be white because of my transgressions against them as a spray-tanned Latino.